If I could just give you a little advice about the gate…….

Seriously. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever had happen to me.

We had spent the last 24 hours”battening down the hatches” as they say. Making sure that everything that could cause even the slightest hint of even the tiniest chance of causing an issue was tied down or put away. We really had no clue about what was going to happen as we were the first humans to reach the Gate let alone go through it.
The Captain made a speech about how this was an historic occasion, blah blah blah…
No one was listening. We were all at the various observation deck watching the approach.
At first there was nothing out there but stars, then a point appeared and began to expand. It looked as if it was materializing more and more as we got closer.
” That explains why we couldn’t see it from earth.” Kirby from engineering said. “It’s cloaked somehow until you get close to it.”

This gate was really weird. It was a bunch of moving parts, billions of them, all moving in different directions and crazy patterns. Discs, cylinders, triangles, rectangles and things that resembled and moved like those old “Rubiks Cubes” that you can still find at garage sales. The whole thing was shaped like a pyramid, with each point of the pyramid an entrance, and then rings that seemed to go off in all directions inside.
It had so much going on that it was really hard to visually focus on the whole thing.

The Captain came on the com “This is Captain Suzuki. The gate seems to not want us to get close to the entrance for some reason. It keeps somehow pushing us off to the side. For now we shall park off to the side and run some scans. We will remain here for a few days so please get back to your duties”
The crowd around me began to start shuffling off.

“Something is happening” someone said.

Sure enough all the moving thingys were moving faster and faster until the became blurred and the inside of the gate began to glow. Then this monstrous…Well…Ship I guess we have to call it shot out of the gate opening. Alice managed to get a few pictures as it streaked past us.

It was massive! At least 50 times bigger than the ship. We all watched slack jawed as it streaked off into space.


“What? I’m a little busy right now”

“Which direction is that ship heading?”

“On it’s present course it looks as if it is going to slingshot around Jupiter and head into deep space. It’s not heading for Earth if that is what you are worried about”
The whole crowd had a giant collective sigh of relief.

Later, I was at the pub having a beer with Bunny Gionnelli from engineering.

“Have you guys figured out what the force moving us aside was?”
“Nope” she said slamming back the last of her pint and signaling for another .” It’s the weirdest thing. It’s not any kind of force that we can measure. The harder we push, the harder it pushes back.”
I took a sip of my beer ” Maybe it’s some type of queuing system. We would beĀ  tiny pieces of space junk if we had been in front of that entrance. Maybe it’s the gate saying ‘please stand by’ or something.”

“Makes more sense the theories being thrown around in Engineering” Juliette dropped another pint in front of her. “Thanks. I just wonder if or when it will decide that it’s our turn”

Apparently that was the gates cue.

“This is the Captain. All duty personnel to their stations. All others to your quarters. The gate seems to have decided that it is our turn”

“SHIT!” Bunny said. She chugged what was left of her beer. “guess I’ll see ya on the other side”

“Where is it we are actually going?” I asked

” The Turdballians call it ‘The Library'”she said standing up and grabbing her coat.

I got back to my room and pulled out the crash chair from the wall.


“Yes Alice” I said buckling myself in.

“I don’t like this. The ship is moving and I can’t control it. I don’t have enough data to calculate the probabilities of our survival.”

“Sounds like you are suffering from a very common human element. Fear”

“Do you suffer from fear?”

“All the time sweetie, all the time. The trick is to not let it stop you”

” We are about to enter the gate. I don’t like fear. Fear sucks”

“Fear sucks” I agreed.

Then the universe went to shit.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Everything went quiet. When I say quiet I mean that sound had been sucked out of the universe.

I tried to speak but nothing came out.

I was facing the door, then I was facing an infinite amount of doors.

Then I was facing an infinite number of me.

Then things began moving about slithering through the Me’s . One started to slither up my leg. I tried to move my hands but couldn’t. I tried to scream but no sound came out. I was terrified.

I looked around. All the other Me’s were covered in these slithering things. They were being devoured by these things.

“The trick is to not let it stop you” Alice said.

Then she was standing there.

She was beautiful.

She was a small blond young woman with a bit of an overbite and glasses. she smiled at me.

“The trick is to not let it stop you” she repeated then faded away

Everything in the room started to stretch away as if elasticized.

Just when I thought it was going to break into a million pieces, it all snapped back.

I was still in the crash chair

Everything was normal again.

I was going to puke.

I unsnapped the belts and ran for the head, where I performed the Technicolor Voorheaves

The Captain was on the com when I staggered out of the can.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at the other side of the gate. Would all maintenance and Janitorial staff please go to your stations.”

“I have a feeling you are going to be very busy” Alice said ” even I feel a little woozy after that”

Mister Remeat Trashy Space Opera

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